Recovery: Am I ever going to get better?

It’s one of those nights where one thought happens and spirals to a million negative thoughts leaving me the scariest questions of all: Am I ever going to get better?   In a moment I can become lost in just how deeply the eating disorders weaved itself into every thought, decision, and aspect of my […]

Read More

Nights Out with an Eating Disorder (or lack of)

You see a night out with friends. A chance to let loose, have a drink, enjoy good company and finally time to relax and have fun!  You look forward to catching up, seeing old friends, laughing and even dancing! I on the other hand, only see the paralyzing anxiety. You see, social events with an […]

Read More

Going to the Gym with an Eating Disorder

It’s hard to believe the gym was once my safe haven. A place I would spend hours, visit multiple times a day, and felt my happiest at. The amount of old men gym friends I’ve acquired the past 8 years is unheard of it. To be honest, I have more 80 year old friends than friends […]

Read More

The Night Before the Beach…

It’s a terrifying situation- I mean a. being social is still a new thing for me and b. I’m going to be half naked. But recovery is all about challenges and breakthroughs. If I don’t face this now, I’m never going to get better and five years from now, I will still be brainstorming excuses to get out of  beach days with my friends. 

Read More