The One I Lean On: Relationships In Recovery

For all the men thinking woman are complicated, an eating disorder makes her 50x more complicated. There is absolutely no doubt relationships in recovery are hard. Time and time again I hear my therapist say “I see lots of relationships end during recovery, you just find out who you truly are and realize it doesn’t work […]

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The One I Lean On: Thank You For Changing My Life

I’ve been asked how my recovery journey started and the answer is simple: Ethan Rogge. This man deserves a noble peace prize for the shit I have dragged him through, and yet almost 3 years later he is still holding my hand. Yes, he is my boyfriend but he is so much more than that. […]

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I am: The Power of Positive Self-Talk

I am.   Such a powerful statement to me. My mantra, really. The first year of recovery was really about food and working out. Learning to eat bread twice a week without taking a box of laxatives or solely going to yoga rather than hitting the gym for 2 hours first. These innate behaviors were […]

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Your mind must arrive at your destination before your life does.

“Your mind must arrive at your destination before your life does.”   I read that and I had such a strong connection with it. That is exactly what I am learning. The thoughts you feed yourself today make up who you are in five years. We all have our demons, mine just happens to be […]

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#GainingWeightisCool

Because really, when I weighed less I was not happy.

I was lonely. I was exhausted. I was depressed. I was hungry.

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I’m not crazy, I just have a mental illness.

I have a mental illness.   I cried when I said it. I thought- what me, no! I just have an eating disorder.   But that is a mental illness.   I started to feel so ashamed, and even more ashamed that I felt ashamed because fuck the stigma, right? I then realized when I […]

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2016: The Year of Gratitude & Transformation

So the whole idea of New Year’s Eve has never been that exciting to me. Sure, for the last 8 years 80% of the reason I didn’t go out or complained about going out was because of my eating disorder- but aside from that I just never thought it was a big deal. This year, […]

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A Letter to Myself

Repost from WEGO Health HAWMC   Alright so I have to make up for day 3 as well as day 4. Yupp…3 days in I didn’t last. But oh well, had to listen to my body and I needed rest. So day 3 was to free write about a quote. I love quotes. I have […]

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Shout-out to the Online Health Community!

REPOST from WEGO Health HAWMC   What drives me to write about my health….   Each week I walk into my treatment center and see at least 6 new girls. Each week.   There are endless studies on how girls as young as first grade are now worrying about their bodies, feeling fat and holding […]

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People > Stairmaster

I’m starting to finally want to go out, I want to dance, I want to hang out with other people, I want to have fun! But oh shit…I have no friends. Yup, I’m owning it. I’m not even apologizing- because it happens ALL THE TIME to people with eating disorders. Isolation is huge, the body becomes priority […]

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