I am: The Power of Positive Self-Talk

I am.   Such a powerful statement to me. My mantra, really. The first year of recovery was really about food and working out. Learning to eat bread twice a week without taking a box of laxatives or solely going to yoga rather than hitting the gym for 2 hours first. These innate behaviors were […]

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Your mind must arrive at your destination before your life does.

“Your mind must arrive at your destination before your life does.”   I read that and I had such a strong connection with it. That is exactly what I am learning. The thoughts you feed yourself today make up who you are in five years. We all have our demons, mine just happens to be […]

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#GainingWeightisCool

Because really, when I weighed less I was not happy.

I was lonely. I was exhausted. I was depressed. I was hungry.

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I’m not crazy, I just have a mental illness.

I have a mental illness.   I cried when I said it. I thought- what me, no! I just have an eating disorder.   But that is a mental illness.   I started to feel so ashamed, and even more ashamed that I felt ashamed because fuck the stigma, right? I then realized when I […]

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2016: The Year of Gratitude & Transformation

So the whole idea of New Year’s Eve has never been that exciting to me. Sure, for the last 8 years 80% of the reason I didn’t go out or complained about going out was because of my eating disorder- but aside from that I just never thought it was a big deal. This year, […]

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A Letter to Myself

Repost from WEGO Health HAWMC   Alright so I have to make up for day 3 as well as day 4. Yupp…3 days in I didn’t last. But oh well, had to listen to my body and I needed rest. So day 3 was to free write about a quote. I love quotes. I have […]

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Shout-out to the Online Health Community!

REPOST from WEGO Health HAWMC   What drives me to write about my health….   Each week I walk into my treatment center and see at least 6 new girls. Each week.   There are endless studies on how girls as young as first grade are now worrying about their bodies, feeling fat and holding […]

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People > Stairmaster

I’m starting to finally want to go out, I want to dance, I want to hang out with other people, I want to have fun! But oh shit…I have no friends. Yup, I’m owning it. I’m not even apologizing- because it happens ALL THE TIME to people with eating disorders. Isolation is huge, the body becomes priority […]

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ED 101: 5 Things You’re Talking About That Derail Recovery

For a long time, I tried to ‘deal’ with peoples’ comments about food, weight, the gym, my body, others’ bodies, etc. Actually, during my eating disorder, I would hear certain comments and shut down, get pissed or completely isolate without really even realizing. In treatment, I gained the awareness that these comments were triggering, but I […]

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With Breakdowns Come Breakthroughs

It’s terrifying when the eating disorder tries to take back control. Recently, I noticed my face was looking fat. I have never focused on my face, I’ve never really worried about it being fat, and yet as I went to snapchat my friend I became fixated on how round my face was. When I finally […]

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