Your Daily Serving of Eating Disorder Recovery Support
Like many sufferers, those with eating disorders may go in and out of treatment through out their life. Eating disorders are a lifelong battle and treatment is aimed at learning to cope with it. If I’m being honest, I think 90% of the time we leave treatment it’s actually because our insurance is no longer willing to cover it- not that we are “all better”.
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For so long, I denied the idea that anything I was doing was unhealthy. Sure I was overdosing on laxatives, throwing up, overdoing it at the gym- but I didn’t look super skinny so didn’t “earn” the title of having an eating disorder.
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If my body wasn’t enough, I wasn’t enough. I wasn’t hot enough. Pretty enough. Funny Enough. Kind Enough. Smart enough. Fun enough. No matter what we achieved, nothing was enough.
So this is how we went on, for almost a decade, overworking me physically and abusing me mentally.
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I’m sitting here on this lovely Monday afternoon rattled with thoughts. I have an increasingly strong desire to eat some ice-cream only to purge. Honestly I’ve been planning it for the last 24 hours. One of my top recovery wins has been trying ice-cream again after 5 or so years and holy shit ice-cream is […]
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For all the men thinking woman are complicated, an eating disorder makes her 50x more complicated. There is absolutely no doubt relationships in recovery are hard. Time and time again I hear my therapist say “I see lots of relationships end during recovery, you just find out who you truly are and realize it doesn’t work […]
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I’ve been asked how my recovery journey started and the answer is simple: Ethan Rogge. This man deserves a noble peace prize for the shit I have dragged him through, and yet almost 3 years later he is still holding my hand. Yes, he is my boyfriend but he is so much more than that. […]
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I’ve now learned what life can be like without an eating disorder. It’s precious, it’s beautiful and it’s certainly awakening. But every once in awhile a bad day comes along, and if I’m being honest, it’s been more like a bad month. But I know how much better life is without my eating disorder.
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I am. Such a powerful statement to me. My mantra, really. The first year of recovery was really about food and working out. Learning to eat bread twice a week without taking a box of laxatives or solely going to yoga rather than hitting the gym for 2 hours first. These innate behaviors were […]
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“Your mind must arrive at your destination before your life does.” I read that and I had such a strong connection with it. That is exactly what I am learning. The thoughts you feed yourself today make up who you are in five years. We all have our demons, mine just happens to be […]
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Because really, when I weighed less I was not happy.
I was lonely. I was exhausted. I was depressed. I was hungry.
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